Weight Loss Solutions Vs. Support

I’ve been kicked off a bunch of weight loss “support” message boards. My crime? I offer advice. I get specific. Somebody says they have a problem; I try to present a solution. And that has gotten me not just flamed but blocked from a handful of “support” web sites.

I generally refer to most weight loss “support” boards as cheerleading and sympathy. Someone posts that they are so upset, they don’t know why they’re not losing weight or they’re angry at themselves for falling off their diet. They are inundated with well-intentioned “Hugz” and “I’m so sorry for you, honey, we’ve all been there,” and of course the obligatory prediction of the future, “You’ll get through it! You can do it!”

Call me pragmatic. When I see a problem, I want to try to fix it. If you’re a good friend of mine, I might let you cry on my shoulder very briefly but then I want to get down to doing whatever I can to fix your problem and relieve your pain.

It’s natural to want to feel sorry for ourselves when the going gets rough. But I believe we relieve the anxiety and stress when we take a deep breath and assess the situation realistically and in practical terms. Stop fighting reality and embrace it! Formulate a plan. Nothing’s ever hopeless as long as you identify your options and know what you’re going to do next.

When it comes to weight loss, we’re notorious for doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Endless diets, exercise drudgery, weight regain—it’s a vicious cycle! It’s been difficult to find a fresh perspective because, frankly, so much of what’s out there is about motivation and inspiration and yes, platitudes, cheerleading, and sympathy.

I’ve had many people tell me they thought I’d “motivate and inspire” people with my book. But I don’t want to do that and it’s not what I intended for my book to be. I’d feel humbled and privileged to be a mentor, to guide. I offer a plan. Hopefully, that fresh perspective you’ve needed to break the cycle of failure. Want a shoulder to cry on? OK, you can cry on mine but I’ll be proposing ideas for what needs to be done!

Has the struggle with weight loss made you feel like you’ve just GOT to make a BIG change? And this time, it HAS to WORK??!!! Have you wondered if there’s some other way you haven’t tried or have you blamed yourself? I hope you’ll consider reading my book.


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  1. Yes, the only lasting change comes from, well, lasting change. There is NO silver bullet for this. I know that I cannot truly eat all that I want and sit on the couch and do nothing and the weight will fall off. Either eat less or move a LOT more, or do a combination of both. “Stop fighting reality”. Yep, that about sums it all up.

    1. Indeed, fighting the facts of our biology will only prolong the pain! Weight loss gimmicks can push that number on the scale down for awhile but it’s VERY unlikely it will stay there! It would be so great to find an “easy way out” for real but science won’t be finding that any time soon.

      I find a certain comfort in having a firm grip on the facts. Even if they aren’t what I would like them to be, unknowns really do stress us out more. And those of us who have fought our weight for years know that the frustration of repeated failure or regain can become overwhelming!

      Start making some health-focused changes and when you begin to experience positive benefits, you think they’re not so bad after all!

  2. Well, I’m halfway through the book and I think “motivate and inspire” is exactly what you do here. The terms themselves are way too wrapped up in the cheerleader and sympathy mentality, but I think the info you offer motivates me and inspires me in a much different way: it’s authentic and no bullshit.

    You have probably noticed (much like I have) that many of these “support groups” have people who leave after a while. Is that because they’re no longer needing support, or is it because they realize the support that’s offered is not helpful in the long run? I think it’s the latter.

    I hate the “club” mentality and how it breeds followers. I also hate that the way that people get attention with these clubs and forum groups is through drama. I don’t want the drama – I want the success. I want the friend that let’s me boo-hoo a little bit, but then smacks me upside the head with the truth and reality that I need to hear.

    So keep on doing what you do. It may not be shouted out by the cheerleaders, but for those of us in the background who like when someone keeps it real, it helps, motivates and inspires A LOT.

    • Dagny on October 30, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    You put it well, Diva! Thank you! Don’t want the drama, you want the success? That works for me!! Maybe my perspective is a bit different, but if something is stressing me or upsetting me, I want to get it figured out! I want to know my options and what I can do next. I don’t want to wallow in the pain, I want to relieve it!!

    If someone reads my book and feels a sense of motivation and inspiration, I hope it’s because they are seeing a clear path and a plan of action taking shape in front of them and they’re excited to get started!

    Sending you Light & Strength my friend!

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