My hair is the perfect length right now. I always cut it a little short-ish when I get a trim and then let it get a little long-ish before I cut it again. So for awhile in between, it will be my favorite perfect length. It’s been many years now that my hair is long. It was long when I was a kid and I used to sit on the floor in front of a mirror and brush it. I loved brushing it because my mom never let me wear it down. Every morning, she’d put my hair up in a ponytail for school. I don’t remember how long it was before I took care of my own hair in the morning. Maybe it was when I cut it.
If you’re old enough, you might remember when the “Shag” came out in the early 1970s. Mrs. Brady wore it. Jane Fonda wore it in her Oscar-winning performance in “Klute.” She still wears the Shag in an updated version. I don’t remember whose idea it was that I would get a Shag but my hair would not be long again for decades.
I tried a few times through the years to grow my hair out but I always gave up. But during the years I was putting myself through so many changes, I finally did it. My hair grew long as my weight was going down. My hair started to fuel my efforts as it became a prominent element of my physical transformation. It became as important to me as seeing my weight change. I reached a point where I looked like a different person to myself. I really can’t say if it was more because of my thinner face or my longer hair.
It’s nearly a decade now that I’ve moved through many lifestyle changes. They happened because I set them in motion and let them grow. By the time I took notice again, changes were simply part of my life. Losing half my body weight brought me to a very different place. Here in this place, I have long hair. The short-haired girl with the routines of her life and what she experienced, seems like someone else. I look in the mirror today and I do not see her at all. My tresses are my Samson hair. I can never cut it. Somehow that would feel like a return to the past.
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This is interesting to me. In the beginning of this weight loss I grew my hair past my shoulders. I’ve so rarely had long hair that it was definitely a sign of changes. Unfortunately my hair just want as full. Instead of fighting it, I chopped it off and see it as a sign of returned sassiness. I just got a pair of bright red heels, another sign of what’s different and possible once again.
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It was SO WEIRD for me I think because it was like childhood memories coming back but with a face I didn’t expect. I really feel like I just can NEVER cut it.